That's it!

Alright, i have had enough. Im bored out of my fucking mind and i have decided that i need some type of female in my life. Now, this is a pretty big role. First of all, you have to be pretty cool and want to hang out with me. Then you are going to have to be keen for a drink once in a while. Im also hoping that your a babe, cause, well, i would like to have some arm candy. Thats right i said it. Next, you are going to have to put up with my bullshit. I know, i can be a dick and what not. But who cant! Hey im only human. A fucking awesome human at that but still human alright. Next on the agenda, you will have to be keen for sex. Again, yes i said it. Fuck you its my blog and if i want to put an ad in here for a woman that doesnt exist then i will! I would also like it if you were into cool things, like music and beer or something. I donno. Something that will be interesting for me to think about while i look at your tits.

It would also be cool if you challenged me, because i need that shit. I think most people do. Unless your like a cripple or retarded or something and you are happy with what you can get. You know the whole, beggars cant be choosers thing. Now i have been watching some love movies right ( fuck im gay ) and i have noticed that i will be making out with some babe in the rain and spinning around. All whilst a camera crew is circling me. Now im cool with this, because if its in the movies then it has to happen, right? Hell yes im right. Im always right. Ohh and you will have to listen to me talk shit. I do this most of the time and know it. Hey, dont judge me. You are also going to have to get along with my friends. I dont like most of my friends women. I cant help it, they pretty much all piss me off. But my friends arent like me (thank god) and they will give you more of a chance then i give their ladies. Ohh you have to have your licence. If you are 18+ and dont have your licence, you fucking suck man. Seriously what the fuck are you doing? Get off your mums tit and get that shit sorted. Its the greatest. You can go where ever you want, when ever you want. Why would you not hit that shit up?

If so far you are meeting the criteria then what up ;). If not then, well. Lame. But i'll go on. This lucky lady will have to be at least 18. If your younger and still hot, then hit me up when you are of age please. What else do i need for this perfect woman to be complete? Hmm...Ohh i know, i like to travel lots and party mighty hard! If you have a problem with this, then lady. This aint gonna work is it. Not a chance in hell. But if you are cool and my friends like you then you can come. Only if, IF you good. I have a pretty good rep going in Sydney and the last thing i need is you going and fucking it up.

I think that about raps that up. I was going to tell you about how good i am but i realised 'hey, no one reads this, plus this chick does not exist so fuck it. Im over typing and kinda want a beer.' So im going to leave this one here. Also i will attempt to write this shit more often, this week has been retarded so i havent had the chance. Nah thats a lie. i just cbf to tell you the truth.

Now if you are this mystery woman then comment me or something. Or if you know someone that would fit this list of amazing, then hit me up. Also if by writing this, something amazing happens then HOLY SHIT!

Im going to leave you with this note. How do birds know where south is? BECAUSE THEY HAVE A FUCKING IPHONE WITH A COMPASS, THAT'S HOW!

Gods speed bitches!